TP Factory Tour
Let’s take a tour of the factory,
find out what this pulp is about to be.
In a big machine, up the belt: goodbye!
Got to get it very wet because it’s very dry.
Got to mush it, mash it, make it into slurry.
Hurry! Can’t rest when a mess is occurring!
Tidy it up, wring it out, press it flat,
wind it up like that,
into the thing called the master roll.
And that’s what we take home, right? No!
That one’s way too big for us.
As if going to the bathroom wasn’t quite complicated enough,
don’t want to add to that
a toilet roll bigger than a Cadillac.
That’d be sad. We couldn’t lift it up!
If the roll ran out, would we hire a truck?
A one-prong forklift, just the thing.
Back it up, now bring. Get it into the swing
of the mechanism. Yeah, it’s rolling now.
Like generously doling out
yard after yard of the bath tissue,
to the benefit of skinny little cardboard tubes.
Uh oh! They’re naked! Better get them dressed.
Where do you expect they’ll roll to next?
Are they headed directly to the grocery store?
What are they still in the factory for?
Not too heavy any more, that’s true,
but still too long to fit in the bathroom.
So we measure them out and we cut them to size,
till they look like the rolls that we recognize.
See how they ride down the line with ease.
It’s hard to believe that they used to be trees.
So please just use the amount you need,
till we take another trip to the factory!
Okay, bye bye TP, bye bye!
(Commissioned by Sesame Workshop for the Elmo's Potty Time DVD)